Dog poo is Leith’s most abundant natural resource. Rich deposits can be found all over the Leith area, most commonly on pavements and in children’s play areas.

This renewable resource is produced by dog owners who provide the raw material free of charge, leaving dog log scattered randomly for others to harvest, normally via shoe. Some streets are so rich in doggy doggy doo doo that one could tread in three or more different types, within just a few meters!

Despite threats of £500 fines and a recent campaign to dissuade dog owners from creating the city of ‘EdinbURGH!’ – doo poo producers have vowed to maintain the high level of output that residents of Leith have come to rely on.

“I’m proud to be one of the biggest producers in Leith.” says Ally McNed, owner of a Staffordshire bull terrier.

“Pipsy here is famous for his two-toners. He once even did a snail! They still talk about it in The Dalmeny today.”

1.  The Road Poo
Although pavements are by far the richest sources of dog poo in Leith, deposits can also be found on the roads, normally near the kerb. This allows for easy collection by children crossing the road or entering a car.

2.  Pre-bagged
Here the dog-owner has kindly bagged the deposit and left if hanging on a fence in case anyone wants it. It is of course well known that residents of Leith often think: “What I really need right now, is a bag of dog poo.”

3. Two-tone
One of the rarest types of dog poo, a K9 must be fed a special diet of cold chips and Chicken Biryani sauce to produce the characteristic duotone coloration. Dog owners are so proud of producing the rare two-toner that they kindly leave them in-situ for others to marvel at.

4. Trodden-in
Here someone has successfully harvested part of the deposit. The normal method of collection is via the sole of the shoe. Once firmly embedded within the tread, the deposit is then transferred to the carpet of the harvester’s own home.

5. Grass Poo
Most often found on verges, parks and children’s play areas, the Grass Poo can sometimes be concealed by unruly vegetation. The habitat allows for easy slippage by unwary passers-by, who sometimes accidentally harvest the deposits, and these types of Doggy drops have even been known to bring down grown men.

6. The Snail
Considered to be the rarest species in the dog poo kingdom, The Snail is so called due to it resembling the shelled mollusc. It takes many years of K9 training to reach snail-level pooing ability, and few dog owners will ever see it in their lifetime. The snail-style poopy is now so rare that they are a protected species and it is illegal to handle one without a licence.